


The Wedding

by ashes_and_ashes, confundedgryffindor



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Feels, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Valentine's Day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-14
Updated: 2019-02-14
Packaged: 2019-10-28 09:21:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,006
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17784746
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ashes_and_ashes/pseuds/ashes_and_ashes, https://archiveofourown.org/users/confundedgryffindor/pseuds/confundedgryffindor
Summary: “Is this what you want?”Sirius had flinched, a crack in that cool marble mask pasted onto his face. “Does it matter?”-In which Sirius gets married, but not to Remus.





	The Wedding

**Author's Note:**

> so @ashes_and_ashes an i wrote this fic together for valentine's day!  
> we both hope that you like it as much as we do!
> 
> also this was HEAVILY inspired by the malec scene from the show shadowhunters (1x12)

—-

Sirius was glaring at Walburga, she had summoned him to his father’s office but now she wasn’t talking. Her expression is blank, but Sirius could tell that whatever she wanted to say isn’t good. Orion is swirling a glass of firewhiskey, grunting every once in a while as he reads through a stack of papers. The office is dark and grimy, only lit by two tall candles that stood perched upon Orion’s desk. The air is thick, it almost feels damp and Sirius can’t really breathe properly.

“Okay, I’ve been sitting here for five minutes,” Sirius says and cracks his knuckles. He can see Walburga cringing from the corner of his eye. “Did you want to talk or are we just going to have a staring competition?”

“Don’t crack your knuckles like that, Sirius,” Walburga hisses. “I’ve been thinking about how to approach this.”

Sirius runs his hands through his hair, “Approach what? You usually just beat the shit out of me.”

Walburga shoots him a vicious glare that probably could’ve killed and starts twirling her wand between her fingers. Sirius immediately sits up straighter and keeps his eyes firmly on the wand, ready to leap out of the room before curses were thrown.

“Don’t speak to your mother like that,” Orion grunts without looking up from his stack of papers. 

“What did you want to speak about then?” Sirius says with his eyes still on the wand.

“Regulus told us about something that happened last term at school,” Walburga says and rises to her feet. She starts pacing around the room, still twirling her wand. “About you _kissing_ some boy,” She spits out the words as if they tastes sour. Sirius’ heart stops beating for a split second. _Shit _, they know. This was the end, they were going to kill him or ship him off to Durmstrang. Or both.__

____

____

“You understand, of course, that this isn’t acceptable by any means for an heir,” Walburga continues.

“I thought I mucked that up when I was sorted into Gryffindor,” Sirius crosses his arms over his chest.

“Quiet, Sirius,” Orion snaps, still not looking up. Walburga stops pacing right in front of Sirius. 

“As I was saying,” she makes a show of twirling her wand again and Sirius bites his lip. “Seeing as you cannot produce an heir by… Your habits, your father and I have decided that you will get married by the end of the summer,” 

Sirius gapes up at her. “What? I’m not even of age yet!”

“We have talked to the Minister and the Rosiers, and it is already arranged.”

“You can’t do that! I-...” Sirius feels himself go pale, or well, paler than he usually is. This was not happening. 

“Of course we can. Ophelia is more than happy to be your wife,” Sirius swallows hard, trying to ignore the lump in his throat. _Ophelia Rosier _, of course it’s some wannabe Death Eater who is two years older than Sirius and looks like what bulldogs and a toad love child would look like.__

____

____

“No. I refuse,” he says and stands upright. He stares down at Walburga. He only has a couple inches on her and he’s probably more terrified of her than he is of anything else, but he stares down nonetheless.

“If you don’t do this, Sirius,” Walburga begins with her hissing, cold voice. “We will reveal your habits with… Lupin, was it? I believe Regulus told us he was a half-breed,” 

Sirius swallows again. He doesn’t want this, he can’t risk losing Remus. Not again. But if he doesn’t do it, on the other hand, Remus’ entire life would be ruined. Sirius stares down at the floor and then gives a quick nod.

“Fine,” he grumbles . “Send an owl to whoever I’m marrying,” And with that he leaves his father’s office.

Sirius sits down by his desk with a quill in hand and a piece of parchment in front of him. He takes a deep breath and begins to write, tears stinging his eyes and hands shaking slightly. 

_‘Moony ___

____

____

_I’m sorry about this, and there’s no good way of saying it so I’m just going to write it and you can be angry with me later._

____

____

_I’m getting married. On the 14th. I know I’m only sixteen and there are laws and shit but I have to do this. I have to._

____

____

_I’m so, so sorry. I can’t explain what’s going on in a letter, but I need you to know that I love you and I don’t really want this, but I have to._

____

____

_You, Prongs and Wormy are welcome to the wedding, of course. I don’t give a shit about what my parents say about that._

____

____

_Once again, I’m sorry. ___

____

____

_Love, Padfoot.’ ___

____

____

-

Remus sits on the roof.

It was the same spot they always used, him and Sirius. That same spot, tucked out of sight from the ground, a small corner next to a tower. They used to spend hours there, talking and laughing and kissing, time slipping through their fingers like rain. 

He should have savored it more, those precious, hidden moments.

The letter is crumpled in his hand, the ink splattered from where Sirius had hurriedly scrawled those damning words on the parchment.

Remus is far too high up to be drinking, but he does it anyways, swallowing the contents of the bottle in his hand. He’s not even sure where he got it, Marlene shoving it into his hand after seeing his shell-shocked expression. The alcohol burns his throat, clearing away some of the pain, rendering it all down into blissful numbness.

He supposed they had it coming. Sirius was noble, practically royalty in the wizarding world, heir to more riches than Remus could ever dream of. It was foolish of him, foolish to think that he’d ever had a chance with him. 

It was all he wanted, after all. A chance, to live out their lives together, where they wouldn’t have to hide, where they could control their own futures and not give a damn about what anybody else thought.

He takes another swig, the burning sensation filling his stomach. Sirius had said he loved him, in the letter, said that he didn’t want to do this. Maybe -

He leashes the thoughts. Sirius was Sirius. If he didn’t want to do something, he would have found a way to avoid it.

Remus had thought he had prepared for this, the knowledge that their relationship would some day come to an end. It was an unspoken truth between them - Sirius would be expected to find some girl to marry, and Remus would be expected to record himself in the Werewolf Register and die in some hole somewhere. 

He just hadn’t expected it would come so soon.

It was always a secret, with them. They each had so much to lose, their own lives fucked up enough that they couldn’t risk it. He remembers talking to Sirius, whispered words under the bright stars. 

“We can’t tell anyone about this,” he had said, winding strands of Sirius’ hair around his finger. “We can’t... I can’t - “

Sirius frowned. “Why?” 

Remus just laughed, shaking his head. “It’s... it’s hard. You won’t understand.” He sighed. “I’m a werewolf, Pads. A goddamn werewolf, I’m already screwed enough as it is. If anyone found out I was...that I loved....”

Sirius nodded. “It’s fine, Moons. I understand.” He paused. “I’m sure my family wouldn’t approve either. Seeing as they want me to produce a son to carry on the Black Name.”

Remus had smiled at him, the moon like a halo around Sirius’ head. “Thank you.”

He lets the memory fade, like a wisp of smoke, letting it filter out from between his fingers. It was over, between them. It was temporary, a passing fancy. It was time for them to grow up.

He sighs. He didn’t expect it to hurt so much.

-

The 14th came way too fast and the day of Sirius’ wedding is a rainy one, ironically enough. Perhaps the Gods knew that this is the shittiest day in history. 

First of all, Sirius is getting married to Ophelia _fucking _Rosier, and no makeup or charms can fix her bulldog-toad face and frizzy hair. Second of all, James, Remus and Peter are all sitting in the hall where the wedding is taking place and Sirius will have to look down on them as he is exchanging vows with someone who’s not a bloke — more importantly, not a bloke named Remus Lupin. And third of all, Kreacher is clinging to Sirius’ shoulder as he tries to tie a bow tie around Sirius’ neck.__

____

____

“Will Master Sirius Black stop pacing?” Kreacher croaks angrily. “Kreacher is trying to tie Master’s bow tie, sir.”

Sirius reluctantly stops pacing and starts wringing his hands instead. He’s breathing heavily, almost panting, and the panic is gripping around his lungs with cold, hard hands. He can’t do this, he doesn’t want this, but he’s got to. For Remus. 

His head snaps up when he hears the door opening, and Regulus walks into the room. Sirius steps forward and wraps his arms around Regulus without a word. Regulus hugs back rather stiffly. 

“You look nice,” Regulus says when they pull apart. “Like a proper pure-blood,” He adds with a smirk. Sirius swats his hand.

“Fuck off, I look like Father would do if he wore man buns,” Sirius mutters and rubs his eyes. Regulus huffs out an awkward laugh.

“You need to get out there,” Regulus says. “It’s about to start and I don’t think your friends can handle sitting with our family any longer.”

Sirius nods, a small smile playing on his lips. “That’s very considerate of you, Reggie. I’ll be out in a minute, yeah?”

Regulus nods and gives Sirius’ shoulder a squeeze before walking out of the small room with Kreacher trailing after him, leaving Sirius panicking again. He takes a few deep breaths and looks at his reflection in the mirror. He looks stupid, with stuffy, dark green dress robes and way too shiny shoes, he was even forced to wear his old Black family ring that he hasn’t worn since he was ten. He really looks like his father.

He takes another deep breath and exits the room. He can hear the low hum of chatter from the all that grows louder as he walks closer. With his heart in his throat, Sirius pushes the door open and walks up to the altar. 

Sirius almost wants to vomit at the sight, the entire hall is decorated in green and silver, and his entire family is sitting there looking as severe as ever. He sees his friends looking extremely out of place and he stares down at his feet instead and starts biting his lip. He can’t stand seeing Remus, sitting there and watching him with those beautiful eyes.

-

He can’t breathe.

Maybe it’s how Sirius looks, with his emerald robes and pale skin and eyes like a storm on the horizon. Maybe it’s his hair, pinned up in a messy bun, the edges tumbling around his neck. Maybe it’s just _Sirius _, and the knowledge that he was promised to another, that their time together had come to an end.__

____

____

He remembers running his hands through the dark strands of Sirius’ hair, slipping through his fingers, spilling out over his shoulders. _It was a message _, Sirius had told him. _A sort of fuck-you to my bullshit parents.___

_____ _

_____ _

_____ _

_____ _

Remus wonders if the mused curls are a final rebellion. A final message, to his parents that already have taken so much from him, a message that they have not broken him. 

It’s so classically Sirius, that hint of arrogance, and he feels his lips curve into a smile.

Beside him, James fidgets, running a hand down the collar of his stark white shirt. Remus knows he hates it in here, being under the same roof as the people who tortured Sirius, abused him for days on end. They stick to the other side, the aisle in the middle, haughty expressions and cold glances, dripping with jewels and other fabrics.

He wonders how Sirius could bear it, the weight of the glances and the cool dispassion they displayed. Sirius was always fighting, always burning, full of life and emotion, hurt and pain and comfort and love. These people were corpses, dead, cold things, like a layer of wet leaves over the fire that Sirius was. 

James swears, low and vicious, his voice barely carrying over the noise of all the people. “Jesus Christ, what the fuck is happening?”

“I don’t know.” Remus closes his eyes, just for a moment, before opening them again. Peter shifts in his seat, eyes dancing around the room. “I don’t know, Moony. I don’t think we are very welcome here.”

“Well, fuck them. We’re not here for them.” James mutters, running his hand through his hair. It sticks up in sharp, pointy spikes, and Peter flattens them down. 

Remus barely pays attention, his eyes returning to Sirius, standing by the altar. His face is pale, drained of blood, his lip bleeding from where he had bitten it. His hair floats around his face, a halo of darkness, and he looks terribly, beautifully young.

He remembers passing him, in that darkened hallway, before the ceremony. He had grabbed Sirius, wrist, the small bones grinding together in his arm, hard enough that Sirius had winced. _“Is this what you want?” ___

____

____

Sirius had flinched, a crack in that cool marble mask pasted onto his face. “Does it matter?”

Remus snorted. “For God’s sake, Sirius. You’re about to get married. To some girl that you said you didn’t even know. Of course it fucking matters.”

He knew Sirius. You couldn’t love someone so fiercely, bare your soul to them, trust them to touch your heart without being able to hold theirs in return. Sirius was a master at hiding his feelings, was able to pull up that cold mask over his face in an instant, but Remus knew. He could see it in Sirius’ eyes.

Sirius bit his lip, hard enough to draw blood. “You know I could never. Love her like that.” His voice dropped to a whisper. “But I have to. I have to, Remus. And I can’t tell you why, and it kills me, but please. You need to trust me. You need to let me go.”

Remus’ voice was low. “I swear, if this is some self-sacrificing bullshit - “

Sirius just gave him a small half-smile, barely a twitch of his lips. “You know me too well.”

“Sirius, I - “

 

He shook his head. “It’s done, Remus. It’s done.” There’s that bitter twist to his lips, the mocking, sardonic smile as he wrenches his arm from Remus’ grip, backs down the hall. “I’ll see you when this is over.”

The sound of a bell jolts Remus from his thoughts, and he swears. In front of him, Sirius gives a small jump, his face draining of colour and Remus bites his lip, hard. The organ starts to play, Sirius gripping the altar, and Remus releases a shaking breath as the wedding begins. 

-

The organ starts playing and Sirius is vaguely aware of the heavy wooden doors opening with an echo on the opposite of the room. That cold hand is still gripping Sirius’ lungs. 

He catches Remus’ eye, just for a second, and suddenly he can’t breathe at all. Forget the hand, someone just dropped multiple bowling balls on his chest. Remus looks as broken as Sirius feels, and he wishes he could just run away from everything. 

Ophelia walks through the doors, led by her father. She’s wearing an emerald green dress, just like Sirius’ dress robes, and her hair is up in some fancy hairdo that would’ve looked much better if Ophelia’s hair wasn’t so frizzy. She’s smiling, a bitter, cold smile that reminds Sirius way too much of Walburga. The urge to vomit is suddenly even worse. He swallows hard again and closes his eyes n an attempt to soothe the burning in his eyes. 

When Sirius opens his eyes again, Ophelia is standing there. Her father and Orion are standing next to them, a few feet behind. Orion starts droning on about marriage, he mentions something about love and Sirius has to fight a snort of laughter, then he motions for Ophelia to start her vows. 

“Sirius,” she says and Sirius prepares himself for the false declarations of love. “I can’t begin to explain how happy I am-,” Sirius tunes her out, and in the corner of his eye he sees Remus stand up. James follows and they both walk towards the exit. 

“I can’t do this,” Sirius chokes out, louder than he anticipated. “I’m sorry but I can’t do this,” Both Remus and James stop walking. 

“It’s okay,” Ophelia says softly with a small smile that doesn’t look as cold anymore. Sirius nods and smiles back, then he steps off the altar. 

-

He can’t take it anymore. 

Watching Sirius stare at Ophelia, knowing that he would be promised to her in a matter of minutes.

He hates himself. He knows it’s selfish, running away from Sirius and the altar. It’s his best friend’s wedding, it should be one of the happiest days of his life, and Remus was fleeing like a coward.

But all he can think about is Sirius, waking up in the middle of the evening, with those paralyzing nightmares. All he can think about are the scars on Sirius’ back, the way they sometimes hurt when exposed to too much dark magic. The way he curled up whenever he got a letter from his parents, the way he froze sometimes when he caught sight of himself in the mirror, the way he bit his lip when trying to hold back a scream. It was those small things, the tiny things that Remus noticed, because when you loved someone, you noticed everything.

Ophelia wouldn’t know, how to comfort Sirius when he woke up screaming for Regulus to run. Ophelia wouldn’t know, when Sirius broke down crying because his scars burned like fire, how to comfort him. She couldn’t, because she didn’t know. Not like how Remus knew Sirius.

And it hurt. Badly, knowing that Sirius was promised to someone else.

The room started to spin, wildly, waves forming under his feet and he thinks he feels sick. Beside him, James grabs his arm, looking concerned. “Re. You good?”

He shakes him off. “I just need air.”

James nods, a look of pain passing over his face, then stands. “I’ll come with you.”

He knows they are making a commotion, knows that people are staring at him, but he really can’t bring himself to care as he stalks out of the reception room. The carpet is lush against his ankles, and he want to gag thanks to the stench of all the perfume, crawling down his throat.

James is pale too, shooting dirty looks at everyone, and he swears he’s going to scream when he hears it.

“I can’t do this.”

Sirius’ voice is quiet, but steady, and there is something like hope in Remus’ chest as he turns around. Sirius is standing there, something like pain in his eyes, and Remus takes a deep breath.

“Sirius….”

Sirius swallows. Hard. Beside him, Walburga stands. “Get out of this wedding immediately - “

Remus shakes his head, still staring at Sirius. “With all due respect, Walburga, this is between your son and me.”

“If you do not leave - “

Remus holds up a hand. “I’ll leave if he asks me to.”

The silence stretches out between them, as he stares into Sirius’ eyes. Remus gives him a small smile. “Will you ask me to?”

Sirius comes closer, so much closer, almost shoving Walburga aside in his hurry. He hasn’t been this close to Sirius in ages, ever since he had gotten that letter ages ago. He looks paler, thinner, drawn and tired, but those grey eyes still shone like they always did.

Remus catches his breath, feeling Sirius, hands on his neck. “Will you?”

-

Sirius doesn’t know what to reply with, so he just shakes his head, grips the collar of Remus’ shirt and pulls his face down to his level. And kisses him. Hard. Remus cups the back of Sirius’ neck and twists his fingers in the stray locks that had fallen out of Sirius’ bun, just like he always does.

He can hear gasps of disgust and surprise. He can hear Walburga screeching insults. But he doesn’t care. He doesn’t care because he has Remus there. 

Remus who knows how to comfort him after nightmares, when he’s supposed to touch Sirius or not. Remus who knows exactly what do say at any time. Remus who knows how to make everyone laugh. Remus who’s exactly as self-sacrificing as Sirius but a thousand times better in any other way. Remus who’s grumpy until noon, who drinks disgustingly milky tea, who crinkles his nose when he reads and who manages to find oversized sweaters even though he’s a giant. 

Their kiss is sloppy with slightly too much teeth but it _doesn’t matter _. Because this is what Sirius wants. All he wants.__

____

____

When they pull apart, Sirius is pretty sure that he’s crying, but grinning widely at the same time. Remus looks breathless and he’s smiling, his hand still resting on the back of Sirius’ neck. Both James and Peter let out whoops of joy and Sirius snorts.

“Sirius,” Walburga hisses. “What do you think you’re doing?”

“I’m kissing my boyfriend, Mother. What does it look like I’m doing?” Sirius finally takes a step back, but instead of facing Walburga, he extends an arm to Remus. “Shall we leave, my dearest?”

Remus grins and links their arms together. “That we shall,” 

-

He’s never kissed Sirius like this.

They’ve always been controlled in the past, ready to step away at a moment’s notice. Lips brushing, barely a whisper between them, hidden in some corridor or on the astronomy tower. It was always a secret between them, had always been.

And now he’s kissing Sirius, in front of his homophobic, pure-blooded family, in front of James and Peter, in front of people who could ruin his life in an instant and he doesn’t give a damn.

Sirius tastes like he always does, bitter and sweet, soft lips and gentle hands, and they’re 15 all over again, their first kiss under the tree by the river, shaking hands and trembling bodies. He thinks Sirius is crying, can feel tears rolling down his face, and all he can do is press Sirius tighter, press them tighter, molding them together until they become one.

Dimly, he’s aware of the noise, Peter and James cheering and Walburga yelling, the uneasy murmurs of the crowd behind him, sounds of scraping chairs and people leaving the room, and he doesn’t care. 

It’s messy but perfect, and he’s smiling as he steps away. Walburga’s mouth hangs open like a fish, opening and closing, and Sirius just raises an eyebrow. “I’m kissing my boyfriend, Mother. What does it look like I’m doing?” he says, and Remus realizes he missed part of the conversation. He’s in some sort of daze, lost in a fog of happiness, and he’s aware of Sirius extending an arm to him. “Shall we leave, dearest?”

Remus nods. “That we shall.”

Outside, it’s cold, the wind whipping at the bushes, rain splattering down their cheeks as Remus pulls Sirius into another kiss. “Well, that was perfect timing.”

Sirius just shrugs. “Couldn’t go through with it.” He pauses. “Are you okay?”

Remus nods. “I’m okay. Actually, fuck that. I’m the happiest I’ve ever been in my life.” He hesitates. “Are you sure you’ll be fine though? Back at home?’

Sirius scoffs, stubbing his foot into the ground. “What more can they do to me? I’ll be fine.”

Remus just smiles, resting his head on Sirius’ shoulder. “Happy Valentines, Pads.”

Sirius laughs. “Happy Valentines, Re. Hopefully, next years will be a little less exciting.”


End file.
